Washington Senate Renames Rainier to Mount Seattle Seahawks

The Washington Senate has renamed Rainier “Mount Seattle Seahawks” and changed its park name to “12th Man National Park.” You just knew they couldn’t let a Colorado move go unanswered.

Here’s the resolution:

By Senators Hargrove, Dammeier, Conway, McAuliffe, Ranker, and Hobbs
WHEREAS, The Washington State Senate is VERY confident the Seattle Seahawks will
defeat the Denver Broncos on Sunday; and
WHEREAS, With all due respect to the fine people of the State of Colorado, the 12th Man
numbered 30,000 strong just to see their team off to the Super Bowl, while Colorado managed 300
or so to see their Broncos off; and
WHEREAS, The Seattle Seahawks gave their fans much to be proud of, indeed, inspiring them
to not just set the world record for stadium noise once, but TWICE in one season; and
WHEREAS, The 12th Man has been known to trigger seismic events (that would be
earthquakes for you middle of the country folk), for real; and
WHEREAS, Colorado makes some fine craft beverages, but really? Do you want to start that
fight with the state that invented the genre? Between fine coffee, brewers, and wineries, Seattle is
the beverage capital of the United States, if not the world; and
WHEREAS, We wholeheartedly agree and hope that your admittedly incredible quarterback
does resemble Mount Elbert: A little rocky and immobile; and
WHEREAS, Your 14ers are really nice, but c’mon, have you seen Mount Rainier? Cloaked in
glaciers and rising nearly 2.5 miles above its surroundings, it is more singular, more monumental,
and more intimidating than any of Colorado’s 14ers, much like the Seahawks over the Broncos; and
WHEREAS, The Great State of Colorado has named 53 individual 14ers after 53 individual
players, because the Broncos are a band of individuals, however the State of Washington resolves
to name one magnificent mountain after the Seahawks because they are and act as a TEAM;
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, That the Washington State Senate does hereby
rename Mount Rainier as “Mount Seattle Seahawks” from this point until 12:00 a.m. Monday,
February 3, 2014; and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, That the Washington State Legislature respectfully request
of the United States Department of the Interior that Mount Rainier’s namesake National Park (yeah,
our Mountain is that cool, it warrants its own National Park) be retitled “12th Man National Park”
for the same time period; and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, That Sunday, February 2nd be proclaimed SEAHAWK
SUNDAY in the great State of Washington.
I, Hunter G. Goodman, Secretary of the Senate,
do hereby certify that this is a true and
correct copy of Senate Resolution 8676,
adopted by the Senate
January 31, 2014
Secretary of the Senate

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